Post your run-ins with filthiness.

How about I just post a picture of my ex and the doucenozzle she was schlepping around with?

I was at a red left turn light minding my business when I check my rearview for the car that just pulled up behind me (cuz you know, people are whack). The dude, probably mid to late 40's is picking his nose, pulls out, inspects the finger, and FUCKING EATS IT! I cringe thinking no way as I can't remember the last time I've seen that, maybe 4th grade? Don't know why but I glance back and he's working on the other nostril now with the other finger AND HE EATS THAT TOO!!

 
I almost hurled. Booked it when the light turned green.

hello,

once upon a time i helped a good friend of mine clean a basement of a mother-in-law who had been put in a care facility for dementia.

the father-in-law had died about five years before and the basement was his domain.

the father-in-law had built about two dozen sealed very nicely finished wooden boxes completely nailed shut. they were quite heavy so i opened one and found a five year run of "National Geographic" magazines. i suppose if the apocalypse came we would have something to read.

the kicker though was a casket type deep freeze that had been unplugged before the father-in-law had to be put in a care facility, also for dementia. we didn't bother to open it.

Oh man, the awful memories that come to mind when I started going through other's posts.

Story #1. I am the father of twin, two year old girls. The other day I was taking care of them running on two hours of sleep. They woke up around 6am, but I was still in zombie mode. Like any father of the year, I blocked any exits and turned on mickey mouse clubhouse while I laid on the couch. Everything is baby proofed and I threw up a few gates, so I wasn't overly concerned. I then proceeded to play the game of, "i'll just close my eyes for a minute". Twenty minutes later I woke up to one of my daughters sitting on my chest and the smell of  .

No biggie, right? Well, she was wearing one of those pajama onesies with a zipper. I went through my usual routine by laying down a diaper and began taking off the pajamas. Still in a daze and with the bottom half of the pajamas already removed, I noticed  all down her legs and up her back, on my hand, and on the blanket below her - Pretty much shit everywhere. It's one of those moments that you wish you could just walk away and it magically take care of itself. For a moment I let myself think about it too much and almost  .

Story #2.  During a stint in Central America, my roommate contracted dengue fever. Luckily it wasn't the hemorrhagic version. For those not familiar with the infection, it is carried by mosquitoes and is pretty common in Latin America and some Asian countries. The unlucky person usually suffers flu-like symptoms accompanied by the feeling of their bones being crushed while experiencing the joy of endless diarrhea and simultaneous vomiting.  You'll often find those suffering from it on the toilet holding a bucket.
One night I was lucky enough to wake up and find that my roommate had managed to crap himself, throw up on himself, and fall back asleep covered in the filth. Not having the strength or will to be able to do anything about it, I was really the only other option.

I can do blood all day long, but something about vomit and crap just gets to me if I think about it. Filthiness.

Can't deal with snot or your own farts?

Rename thread to "Queens of Changstar"?

Just kidding. Keep 'em coming 

I can't recall anything too disgusting... I once walked by my girlfriend as she was sitting on the couch doing work on her laptop and asked her to turn. In other words, she was at the most ideal height. So I  (without actually removing pants) and let it rumble (happened to get one of those really direct ones with excellent pressure). This happened:


So I dunno. I think Flappy cheeks is the new standard for a good fart. Haven't been able to re-enact that moment, nor can I say that I've tried. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard and at the same time felt so bad. Same applied to her: laughing her ass off but trying her best to be sincerely super mad. I think the doberman at 1:35 represents the best how she looked in the act and the potential danger she held.

Anyway, that was like 3-4 years ago and we're still together. True love.