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Author Topic: Custom Titles  (Read 6301 times)

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insidious meme

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2015, 01:40:40 AM »

Guess not everyone here will end up with some random custom title. Yeah, I've defied the gods....  :)p7
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maverickronin

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2015, 01:50:38 AM »



Whims of the moderators and all that.  Be careful what you wish for...
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thegunner100

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2015, 01:53:55 AM »

Wait... everyone in this thread is getting a custom title now!!!
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Hands

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2015, 01:55:29 AM »

I want one.
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Griffon

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2015, 01:56:54 AM »

I haven't even got neither how to upgrade from a powder monkey to pirate, nor how to become an ABS...
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Kunlun

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #15 on: May 13, 2015, 02:03:32 AM »

And now a "Tail" by Kunlun, the tale of the Namey-po.



In the late 1800s, there was a middle-aged man who lived in the woods by himself. The only companions he had were his three hunting dogs. It took a day and a night to travel into the town outside the forest, so he only left his two-room cabin to get food and other supplies when he really needed to.

One night, the man looked in the cupboard and realized that he had no food left in his cabin. Cursing himself for being so careless, he decided that it was much to dark to start for town or go hunting now, and he would just have to go to bed hungry and wait until tomorrow.

About an hour later, the man was sitting in the main room of his cabin, cursing himself for not going to town sooner, when he heard a peculiar noise. It sounded like scurrying, as if an animal were running about the room. His three hunting dogs were outside, sleeping under the porch like they always did.

The man searched for the source of the noise, and behind his recliner he saw the stranges animal he had ever laid eyes on.
The animal was the size of a cat with a long, pointy face, like a fox. All of its teeth were razor sharp and the fangs protruded from its mouth. Its eyes were big as owl's eyes and bright green, so bright it seemed like they were glowing in the dim light. The animal had paws that looked almost like tiny human hands, only with long, black claws. Its ears were enormous, like a jackrabbit's. But the thing that the man noticed most about this strange beast was its enormous tail, he guessed it was six feet long, coiled round and round itself.

The creature regarded him calmly for quite some time, as he stared at it in awe. He had never seen something that looked even remotely the same in all his life. Just then, a thought came to him: he would kill it and have it for dinner! Quick as a flash, he rushed to the 'kitchen' portion of his main room and grabbed his butcher knife off of the shelf. The creature, realizing what was happening, let out a terrifying hiss that froze the man in his tracks. It almost sounded like a human scream. The man chased the thing around his house for a full minute before it finally slipped away through a hole in the log wall, where he presumed it had entered his house from. The thing barely escaped, but not before the man cut off its custom title. He heard it go screaming away into the forest.

Being a shrewd man, he realized that the name had some very good meat on it, and decided he would skin it and cook it for dinner. That was what he did, and he went to bed full and quite satisfied with himself. But in all the excitement, he'd forgotten to patch up the hole in his wall...

That night, the man awoke to a scurrying sound in his main room. Now, his bedroom was separate from the main room of his cabin, he'd built the addition on himself so as to have more private living space. He could hear scurrying around his main room, even through the thick bedroom door. As he listened, he realized with just a hint of cold fear that he had forgotten to patch up the hole in the wall.

Just then, an eerie, singsong voice rang through the still air of the cabin, "namey-po, namey-po, who's got my namey-po?"

The man was so frightened that he jumped out of bed, grabbed his shotgun, and threw open the door to his room, hoping to catch whoever was messing around with him red-handed. All he saw was a black shadow scurry, fast as lightning, through the hole in the wall. Shouting out, he sent his dogs after whatever it was, hearing them go barking off into the night. The man sat up for an hour. Only two of his dogs came back. Thoroughly scared now, the man blocked the hole as best he could with a stack of logs for the fire and let the dogs into the house to sleep in the main cabin. Then, trying to ease his racing mind, he went back into his room and tried to sleep.

Not ten minutes later, the sound of the stack of logs crashing down and his dogs whining and cowering like scared puppies reached his ears. There was a scurrying sound, then the eerie, singsong voice said (sounding much closer now than it had been the last time), "namey-po, namey-po, who's got my namey-po?"

The man, once again, jumped out of bed with his shotgun, but just missed that black shadow running through the reopened hole in the wall. Furious and frightened, the man sent his two dogs out after the creature.

An hour later, one dog returned.

The man brought moved his heavy chair in front of the hole in the wall, the dog into his room to sleep by his bed, and tried to calm himself.

Not five minutes later, the sound of the heavy chair scraping across the dirt floor of the cabin reached his ears. The voice, now sounding very close to his bedroom door, sang out, "namey-po, namey-po, who's got my namey-po?"

Terrified, the man flung his bedroom door open and sent his dog after the creature. It never returned.

Desparate, the man blocked the hole with all he could find in his home, bolted his door shut, locked himself in his room, and sat on his bed with his shotgun. Not three minutes later, a scurrying sound reached his ears. The voice, now just outside his bedroom door, sang out, "namey-po, namey-po, who's got my namey-po?"

The man remained silent, shaking with fear. There was scratching on the door, and then the doorknob slowly began to turn.

"namey-po, namey-po, who's got my  namey-po?" The man aimed his shotgun at the door. It wasn't loaded. It was useless against the terror. He threw it to the ground. All too late, he realized that he could have used it to hit the creature, but now it was across the room and he was too afraid to stand up.

The door was wide open now. A black shadow scurried across the floor.

"Namey-po, namey-po, who's got my namey-po?" The creature climbed up to the foot of his bed, staring at him with glowing green eyes. It was smiling, showing rows of razor-sharp teeth.

"namey-po, namey-po," it said, "you've got my namey-po."

It climbed across his legs, up to his stomach. Terrified, the man managed to scream out, "I haven't got it! I haven't got your namey-po!" The creature spread its clawed, human-like hand and placed its claws against the man's stomach. Grinning, it whispered, "yes you do."

A month later, a woman from town noticed that the man hadn't come there for a very long time, so she decided to check on him to make sure he was okay. As she was riding out into the forest, she found a most ghastly sight. A dead dog on the side of the path. She rode on, but soon she found another dead dog, and very soon a third. Shuddering, she hurried along to the man's cabin to make sure he was okay. With a scream, she found him in his bedroom, his sheets soaked in blood, a look of horror frozen on his face forever. His stomach had been cut open by something razor sharp.

She rode back to town with all the speed she could, to inform the people of the town and get the man a proper burial. As she was riding through the trees, she heard - or thought she heard - an eerie, singsong voice sing out through the trees, "namey-po, namey-po, now I've got my namey-po..."
 :o ??? :-00 ??? :o
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maverickronin

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #16 on: May 13, 2015, 02:24:50 AM »

What exactly is the moral of this "tail"?

To warn against plagiarism?
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uncola

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #17 on: May 13, 2015, 02:31:01 AM »

Free titles will flow like free bees from oprah

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Kunlun

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #18 on: May 13, 2015, 02:46:22 AM »

May I please have Felis Earphonicus as my title?
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iRo

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Re: Custom Titles
« Reply #19 on: May 13, 2015, 02:50:34 AM »

Soon it will be rare and cool to not have any custom title at all. :D
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