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Author Topic: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market  (Read 1163 times)

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Marvey

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Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« on: December 19, 2014, 08:04:49 PM »
After being stymied for years by the Communist Party of China which has blocked Facebook since 2009, Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg has finally given in by renouncing his American citizenship to become a Chinese citizen. In addition, Mr. Zuckerberg has altered his appearance to look more Chinese through DNA restructuring at a gene therapy clinic in Havana, Cuba.

In the past several months, Mr. Zuckerberg has undertaken a charm offensive to the CPC. In October, Mr. Zuckerberg posted a video of himself giving a speech and handling a question and answer session in Mandarin Chinese at Tsingua University in Beijing. The CPC thought that was cute, but remained unconvinced of Mr. Zuckerberg’s sincerity, especially since no one understood a word he said. Evidently Mr. Zuckerberg did not understand the importance of tones in Chinese and how they determine the meaning of every single word.

Just recently, during a visit from China’s top Internet regulator Lu Wei to Facebook offices, Mr. Zuckerberg conveniently left several copies of Chinese President Xi Jinpng’s book on good governance in order to impress Mr. Lu. Again, the CPC thought this was cute, but still remained unconvinced to allow Facebook access to the Chinese market.

Ultimately, Mr. Zuckerberg realized the only way to enter China, the world’s biggest Internet market, was to become fully Chinese himself.


Mr. Zuckerberg before DNA restructuring


Mr. Zuckerberg after DNA restructuring
« Last Edit: December 20, 2014, 03:26:32 AM by marvey »
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Claritas

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Re: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2014, 08:13:44 PM »
He underwent Sinoplasty.  :-Z
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takato14

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Re: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2014, 02:48:17 AM »
what the fuck
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This industry is really fucking broken

zephyrre

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Re: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2014, 03:10:24 AM »
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tomscy2000

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Re: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2014, 11:38:38 AM »
LOL Sinoplasty. Awesome on so many levels.
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cizx

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Re: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2014, 11:03:56 PM »
what did they do with the leftover neck?
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Anaxilus

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Re: Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg finally cracks the Chinese market
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2014, 12:11:03 AM »
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