I try to be a "compassionate asshole". You know, kind of like how W was a "compassionate conservative". There is some nasty, weird, and mean shit out in the world, and its better to be direct, blunt even, about it, than to beat around the bush. When someone tells me I'm being an asshole, sometimes only a "fuck you" will do, but I want to be able to respond, "yeah, but I'm still right," or better still, "its because I know better than you."

To the OP, though, this is much harder via the internet, since inflection, tone, etc. is lost (for example the final quote in the above paragraph is laden with sarcasm, but may still be true). I find myself less likely to throw out asshole remarks in most online spaces because I have never met the people face to face. One of the big benefits about this place (if you live in CA or have a travel budget) is that most of you HAVE met in person, and have a feel for each other's demeanor, persona, etc. which facilitates direct dialog about all kinds of shit.